Are You Judge Mental?

mindset May 09, 2019

An older man walked in the cafe with a younger attractive woman. He was wearing sunglasses inside like the popstars of the 80's did.

What's this?

I love people watching, don't you?

But If you re-read the first sentence again could it be more judgemental?

There is of course a sub-text with so many inferred judgements.

Why is this older guy with her? She is attractive, he is not in her league, he is wearing sunglasses, inside, does he think he's Bono?

What a chump...

Then an elderly couple approached them. The man removed his sunglasses as the grey haired woman asked him how he was feeling. 

I recognised something about the way she asked. 

It was sympathy; I've experienced the lowered tone, the head leaning to one side, the look that doesn't believe you when you say you're fine many times in the last 6 years or so.

He did indeed say he was fine, but I could now clearly see his face. He looked like he had pretty extensive eye surgery and the side of his face was paralysed.

And I didn't believe for a single second that he was fine.

No siree.

(I've told that lie many times too).


So what is my point?

People are judging you all the time in the same way you judge them just like I did with the couple in the cafe.

We can't help it and our judgements don't always tell the whole story as the guy with the sunglasses illustrates perfectly.

So what was going on I asked myself?

Our judgements are a reflection of our own core beliefs.

Memoirist Anais Nin said:

“We don’t see things as they are, we see them as we are.”

Think about it.

Perhaps you didn't put yourself out there even though you know it would help your business through fear of judgement? This is just a reflection of how you are judging those who do put themselves out there...

Who do they think they are?
Why should I listen to them?
They just want my money.

And so on. 

Perhaps your judgement of them is making you fearful of others doing the same to you and it's paralysing you or preventing the success you deserve.

It's a realisation I have made in myself too.


(By the way, you should check out Jim Fortin who transformed my thinking around judgement and fear.)


So, forget about being judged, it is going to happen anyway. You do it all day every day, so do I and so does your potential customer. 

Find your message, discover your voice, amplify it and don't give a monkeys about judgement.





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